Redemption
by gossamer moonglow
Summary: Ziva is looking all the wrong things in the right place.


**Redemption**

She didn't want to think it's role playing. She needed to feel that it was real; she wanted to be hurt and then forget. She also knew he didn't want to do it; that it was a slight blackmail by her that had brought them here, she dressed in a long flowery skirt and a red shirt tucked in the skirt; the first three buttons of her shirt unmade and he, in tight trousers –she couldn't really remember seeing him in such tight trousers before. She liked it.- his attire was complimented by long boots and a grey-silver shirt more or less made in the same fashion as hers.

Her long curly hair hid her face; she didn't want to see his face. There was no want there, just acceptance. He may have agreed to do it but his heart wasn't in it. He pushed her on the bed taking a silk scarf and tying her wrists on the bed and together.

'Tighter.' She whispered not knowing why she wasn't talking normally. He followed her instructions and she tried her bonds to see if she could free herself if she wanted to. She couldn't. She smiled; she should have known he could make strong bonds, just like he could break them like Alexander did; with his brain.

Slowly he unbuttoned the rest of the shirt buttons and pulled up the long skirt. She wanted to feel pain they had agreed to this. It was either him or some stranger. He wasn't backing now, was he? Soon she was naked, only the unbuttoned shirt falling on her shoulders as he pushed it back when he started caressing her breasts. She trembled; that was not what she wanted. He didn't seem to care. He continued moving his long fingers arousing her while staring right into her eyes. He wanted to see with who she was.

He didn't take any of his clothes and when he thought she could accept him, a gentlemanly action she didn't expect not to mention want, he entered her in one fast thrust. But he was still gentle and slow.

'Faster. Harder.' She said and he did as he was told, his shirt touching her over stimulated naked body, his hands on her face making her look at him.

'Don't close your eyes.' He ordered. And she didn't. His pace became faster and she tried to move her arms failing as the scarf was getting tighter the more she moved. All thoughts left her mind as she reached her completion. He continued pounding into her, sweat and tears mingling from their bodies.

When it was over, he reached up and untied her. She instantly put her arms around his neck and he pulled her close. She let the tears ran freely.

'I killed them. I killed them…' she repeated again and again in his chest.

'It was an accident.' He answered and with soft words he tried to calm her down.

'They were just kids.'

'It wasn't your fault.' He got up and went to the bathroom. He prepared a bath, the smell of lavender strong and calming. He walked back to the hotel bedroom and took her in his arms.

Soon she found herself inside warm water and she closed her eyes. He took off his clothes and went in the bath himself pushing her forward to sit behind her. She was laid on top of his her head snuggled between his neck and head taking in his smell. He ran his hands on her body.

He turned her head to see him and as he entered her once again he started kissing her not accepting any withdrawal on her part. He played with her lips and her teeth licking the beautiful mouth his tongue asking a second entry which Ziva couldn't deny as he slowly made love to her body. He continued in the same slow pace for as much as he could both moving back and forth and kissing her for all he could. If she wanted to get hurt he wanted to show her she could be adored.

When both their bodies had turned weak and sleepy he thought she had enough. His kiss never stopped invading her mouth just as he went faster. He drank her spasms and sighs. It wasn't for him; it was for her. He turned on the shower and cleaned them both from the soap. He wrapped her in soft cotton and grabbed a towel to wrap around his waist. He once again took her in his arms and walked to the bed.

He turned off the lights and lay next to her pulling her pliant body in his arms moving closer to listen to her thanking him. He kissed her cheek, pushed the long hair out of her face and let her sleep.

She opened her eyes to find green ones looking at her and she smiled. She tried to reach him and he put more distance between the two of them. She noticed he was already dressed.

'This cannot happen again, Ziva. And you won't go looking for strangers. No matter your training you can get hurt.' He said sternly at her.

'Then why don't you do it?' He leaned close to her and kissed her tenderly on the lips, lingering for a while before stepping back.

'Because I'm not cut down for that kind of sex, Ziva. I get too emotionally attached. I already care for you, but making l… having sex with you is…' He didn't finish. She knew. She could love him too, despite their differences.

'Take care of yourself.' He said and left her alone in the hotel room, in a bed that still held his smell. She wrapped herself around the pillow he had slept on and let herself drift to a dreamless sleep.

Finis

_Tim's name isn't mentioned but I make it clear that he's the one with Ziva. _

_This is by far the most expicit theme I have ever written. Hopefully it works fine with the characters. _


End file.
